he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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