I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
