whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Randomize
