Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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