wrigley field is MILF paradise
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize