ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  tie

  Fav 30 944 2686

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'

  Fav 18 888 3509

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?

  Fav 33 2358 4923

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

  Fav 8 3295 1498

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?

  Fav 11 1636 2862

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.

  Fav 7 2734 961

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

  Fav 3 780 1133

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

  Fav 1 691 1097

  share tweet
  

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Coming.

  Fav 8 1627 679

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!

  Fav 6 782 617

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum

  Fav 1 551 534

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

  Fav 1 756 582

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.

  Fav 0 712 386

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!

  Fav 0 363 204

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (478): View more from Georgia

  I don't know what to say to you.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.

  Fav 0 49 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize