It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
