girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
