Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize