I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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