Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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