just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
