well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
