Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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