I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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