my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
