I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
