Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
