you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
