you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
