stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize