as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
