I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
