false alarm. still invincible.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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