my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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