That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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