I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
