meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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