Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize