This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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