what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
