Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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