i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
