HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i will never coherently bang her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
