sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
