Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
