i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
