He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
