Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
