Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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