she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
