Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
from now on my penis is your penis
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
