If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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