look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A+ Viking dick
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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