If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
