I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
