Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize