and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
