He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
