I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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