I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
nutella sex= disaster
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
