YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
