Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
