there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
