im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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