i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
