He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We are two peas in an std pod
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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