Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
