Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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