Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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