It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
