Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
These tits shall not be calmed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize