hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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